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Morning Again.
7:30 am….. As I roll over to look at the clock. “Maybe I can sleep in.” flitters across my mind as a vague thought. Within nanoseconds, I hear grunts and whines emanating from the crib. “Nope.” I have to get up; as I hadn’t yet changed Cao’s morning diaper.
Stumbling out of bed I cross the room, bend over the crib to pull off the offending diaper. Quickly turning around I go to lob it into the pail and in doing such, step in something slimy. Looking down, I discovered that I had stepped in dog vomit. “Just Great!” I growled.
While I was standing in shock, I slowly looked up at the bed to find a trail of dog vomit looking remarkably like a slug trail on my comforter. Stunned, I looked at the now happy dog lying on the bed. “Get off Sasha! NOW!!!!!!! ” Yelling at him for an act that he has already forgotten. Sighing, I grab a handful of baby wipes to clean off the mess on my foot. This morning can’t get worse….I paused, “SHIT! I forgot to put a diaper back on the baby!!!! I bet he already peed in his bed. DAMN!”
As I looked over the rail, sure enough I was greeted by a cooing, and content baby that had not only peed all over himself, but also managed to soak through his blankets. To make matters worse he was rolling in the mess working on his crawling technique. Grabbing the soiled blankets from under him, I threw even more laundry in to the hamper. “Just lovely, I have laundry to do that will take me the next century to get done.” I thought to myself in misery.
Then quickly looking at the floor, I thought “Might as well clean up the dog mess before putting him back into a diaper. The kid has done his worst. In fact, it can’t get worse.” Pulling off the comforter, I soon heard the trumpets of disaster about to happen in the crib. Yep, lots of adult sized farts echoing off the crib rails warning of an impending problem. Dashing to the change table and, fumbling about for a diaper in a stupor; I raced back to put a diaper on the kid. Just barely in time to avoid yet another moment of stupidity. “Saved” I sighed in relief. Only moments later, after cleaning up the aftermath I hear….from the dog……vomiting noises….emanating……from under my bed. Guess I won’t be sleeping in after all.
Stumbling out of bed I cross the room, bend over the crib to pull off the offending diaper. Quickly turning around I go to lob it into the pail and in doing such, step in something slimy. Looking down, I discovered that I had stepped in dog vomit. “Just Great!” I growled.
While I was standing in shock, I slowly looked up at the bed to find a trail of dog vomit looking remarkably like a slug trail on my comforter. Stunned, I looked at the now happy dog lying on the bed. “Get off Sasha! NOW!!!!!!! ” Yelling at him for an act that he has already forgotten. Sighing, I grab a handful of baby wipes to clean off the mess on my foot. This morning can’t get worse….I paused, “SHIT! I forgot to put a diaper back on the baby!!!! I bet he already peed in his bed. DAMN!”
As I looked over the rail, sure enough I was greeted by a cooing, and content baby that had not only peed all over himself, but also managed to soak through his blankets. To make matters worse he was rolling in the mess working on his crawling technique. Grabbing the soiled blankets from under him, I threw even more laundry in to the hamper. “Just lovely, I have laundry to do that will take me the next century to get done.” I thought to myself in misery.
Then quickly looking at the floor, I thought “Might as well clean up the dog mess before putting him back into a diaper. The kid has done his worst. In fact, it can’t get worse.” Pulling off the comforter, I soon heard the trumpets of disaster about to happen in the crib. Yep, lots of adult sized farts echoing off the crib rails warning of an impending problem. Dashing to the change table and, fumbling about for a diaper in a stupor; I raced back to put a diaper on the kid. Just barely in time to avoid yet another moment of stupidity. “Saved” I sighed in relief. Only moments later, after cleaning up the aftermath I hear….from the dog……vomiting noises….emanating……from under my bed. Guess I won’t be sleeping in after all.
posted by Jenn | 9:40 AM
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